Strings - connected from lights and dreams
On a hot afternoon in April 2024, I met Seb at a café. We talked about my photography, films, the politics of my country, and he introduced me to some artists I had never heard of. He loved my photography, and it made me feel useful. Then, we hung out and shared a bed — I fell asleep on his chest. At the time, I was struggling with insomnia from working both day and night shifts in the same week, and he said he felt like something inside him was dead. That moment when I could fall asleep so tranquilly, and he was holding a living, sleeping human being — became a bond, rooted in friendship.
He was on holiday, exploring around Thailand. Then he came back to Chiang Mai in May, just before heading home, and we had more time to watch films together. He introduced me to Apichatpong and other artists' works. Sharing a part of life with Seb changed me a lot — I began to understand more about my photography and became more focused on narrative and expression. He made me realise my obsessions with mannequins, garbage, plastic, and decaying things.
After that, I faced resignation from a promising job and depression, he always encouraged me and understood me even though his life situation and mental state was unstable.
Then he came back in October — we planned to watch more films and take a short trip to the countryside. It was one of the greatest times in my life. I cried out loud when he showed me Mirror by Andrei Tarkovsky — those childhood memories reflected something deep within my body and soul.
One morning in Lampang, I shared my untold stories with him — about my mum, the failure of their marriage, and the childhood trauma I had never spoken about to anyone in my life. Every nerve in my body was trembling, and I cried and mourned like I never had before. He held me tightly, and I felt as though I had been released from a lifelong illness.
He went back to his homeland, the UK, and we continued our conversations virtually. Having Seb was like accidentally discovering a precious stone in a forgotten jungle while walking down uncertain roads — a thread that tied my memories, emotions, passions, joy and dreams to his wisdom, education, artistry, love and kindness. His presence sustained my passion and kept me alive. This series is a tribute to my very special friend — the one and only Seb.